That was awesome. Child me definitely finished to that multiple times. And that's not gross, that's beautiful. There is nothing more pure than the masturbatory fantasies of a child.
I fucking love this holiday.
Thursday, October 31, 2013
wish my S.O. cared about me so we could go as springbreakers 4 halloween
Opening Ceremony X SPRING BREAKERS Collection
The easiest costumes
I'd wear a beanie, a bathing suit, flip-flops, and an Colt.
He'd wear white-boy dreads, a grill, and a black Florida shirt.
This movie fucking rules. I never get to see girls who do these kinds of things without getting seriously hurt or straight up killed. Nothing bad happens to them!!! So rare, so amazing. Better than KIDS, because no one gets AIDS! (spoiler, sorry not sorry)
Selena: (underwater) I wish we could stay here forever.
Then is the first to leave. This scene really resonated w me. Look at that shirt!
Vanessa Hudgens as a Spring Breaker was goofy and dancey and an appropriate casting choice.
"Good girls" don't take nudes while they're under a Disney contract.
Selena Gomez is a "good girl." Can't find her nudes anywhere.
I think the way Harmony Korine directed his daughter in this film is VERY INTERESTING.
And James Franco as Alien deserves like ... what's the galactic version of an Oscar?
"This is the fuckin' American dream.
This is my fuckin' dream, y'all!
All this sheeyit! Look at my sheeyit!
I got... I got SHORTS! Every fuckin' color.
I got designer T-shirts! I got gold bullets. Motherfuckin' VAM-pires.
I got Scarface. On repeat. SCARFACE ON REPEAT. Constant, y'all!
I got Escape! Calvin Klein Escape! Mix it up with Calvin Klein Be. Smell nice? I SMELL NICE!
That ain't a fuckin' bed; that's a fuckin' art piece. My fuckin' spaceship! USS ENTERPRISE ON THIS SHIT. I go to different planets on this motherfucker!
Me and my fuckin' Franklins here, we take off. TAKE OFF! Look at my shit. Look at my shit!
I got my blue Kool-Aid. I got my fuckin' NUN-CHUCKS. I got shurikens; I got different flavors. I got them sais. Look at that shit, I got sais. I got blades!
Look at my sheeyit! This ain't nuttin', I got ROOMS of this shit! I got my dark tannin' oil... lay out by the pool, put on my dark tanning oil... I got machine guns... Look at this, look at this motherfucker here! Look at this motherfucker! Huh? A fucking army up in this shit!"
This music video kills me Everytime.
Loved this movie so much that me an' tiff were extras in this Midnight Show Spring Breakers parody. Frank Howley made a shot-for-shot parody of the trailer. Totally had like the hugest crush on the James Franco guy. Look for me! I'm in it for all of a second!
Remembrance of Boyfriends Past
The time I took a then-boyfriend to a show at Largo and he creamed his pants over Sarah Silverman, Jenny Slate, and Natasha Leggero but was totally turnt off by Margaret Cho.
They all had a joke about abortion, but he only expressed disgusted at Cho's. Maybe because her joke wasn't as good and true and fleshed out as the other comic's. But more likely because she didn't do a cute little dance and make his dick feel tingly. So, while I still sometimes miss how dumb you are and how you dragged me down to your level of dumbness, I've learned to say: stay gone, dummy. Or rather, live with your parents til you're bald and 30. You're almost there!
RELATED SORTA: JENNY SLATE'S NEW SHORT FILM (BY HER PARTNER, DEAN FLESCHER-CAMP) IS SCREENING AT AFI FEST. JOIN ME WHY DONTCHA?
And, hey, it's okay that your first love was your worst love. How could you have known better? What models were you given? Look back fondly on when you were young, dumb, and full of cum-forting naivete.
Rise Up With Fists, Jenny.
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Judd Apatow god of comedy PLUS! Band of Outsiders lookbook
Judd Apatow shooting 40 Year Old Virgin.
haha, his face on the screen is killing me.
Last night at Judd Apatow's Screenwriting Show at UCB, he fielded a question from a girl asking if he had any advice for actors auditioning for roles. Good thing I stealth record most interviews I attend, huh?
Judd: Acting is so hard and so scary that when you go into a room to do auditions, there's probably nothing more unnatural in the world than walking into a space you've never seen before, you don't know who you're going to be looking at, and you're trying to disappear into some scene. So there's almost no way to deliver. Well, and then if you're nervous about it, it's impossible to do it... to do it well.
So, the only advice I can give in an impossible situation like that is if you understand that EARLY that it's crazy and find... find it amusing. That like it's just funny that you set me up to die here. [audience laughter]
And I'm not like... holding tight. It's like "Ah! Gotta remember it! Gotta do it!" It's just that you enjoy... them. You enjoy the weirdness. You can call it out. And you try to make a connection and be open and just LIKE yourself. And it's... and not look at each thing as like the be-all end-all because I think if you care TOO much you just imPLODE. And you just have to think of each thing as like it's own funny, unique experience, not like "Oh if I can get this Burger King commercial my life will be better." [audience laughter]
Judd answered the girl's question with so much empathy and heart, maybe because his wife is an actor. But more likely because his agent and manager were there, sitting front row.
Sneaks
Actual, non-creeper fashion: The Band of Outsiders goes on a boat.
The boys are wearing Band of Outsiders; the lady, Boy by Band of Outsiders.
Cast of characters:
Judd Apatow's actor-wife, Leslie Mann, and their daughter Maude :)
Donald Glover, actor writer rapper, basically a Renaissance man
James Franco's prettyboy brother, firstnamewhocares Franco
cool cougar action
A BREAK to show you Donald Glover's likely nightmares.
He wrote these notes in a hotel room after finding out his show Community was being cancelled.
These confessions are so honest and vulnerable and raw, you know you've felt all of these before, except maybe the Tyrese one.
whoa, this is killing me. I'm literally dying.
I'm dyinggggg.
I'm DEAD.
AND WE'RE BACK
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